Many women now face the problem of alcoholism in the family. "My husband drinks every day, what to do? ", "My husband has been drinking for 10 days, how to behave? "- these questions are increasingly heard lately. Of course, the couple was an alcoholic - it was scary. And drunkenness, if left untreated, is generally capable of turning lives into eternal torture. But here you must always remember that alcoholism is a disease, and not a personal choice of a particular person. A sick person definitely needs the support of a loved one, especially when he or she is unable to cope with the problem on his or her own. But, as a rule, when the husband drinks, the wife suffers first. And at such moments the question often arises: what to do when the husband has become a party? There are several ways to get out of this situation: leave him and get a divorce, or try to fight for your life and help your loved ones. Although we can say with confidence that this struggle will not be easy. But the decision here must be made by the woman herself, no advice from a psychologist will help. Only he himself can decide what he wants and what he can do to achieve his goal.
Tough decision
Divorce is the simplest and easiest solution. Thus, a woman seems to abdicate herself from responsibility for a man’s future fate. But in this case, you have to adhere to certain behaviors. The main thing here: if you decide to go, go. Whatever the persuasion or appeal, it is important to know that the promises of an alcoholic cannot be trusted. He would do anything to convince his wife: cry, give gifts, fall to his knees. If this is not successful, he may use force or extortion. Therefore, you should not follow his instructions, because believing this once, you can trigger repeated repetitions of such a concert. And they can last for more than a week, even more than a month. The advice of a psychologist in this case is not clear: you need to make a firm decision, clearly convey this to your husband, do not believe the promise and do not give up. We must always remember that no matter how bad the husband is, the wife will be twice as bad.
If a choice is made towards fighting and helping the closest person, then the woman needs to be patient. The most important thing in this case is to understand why the husband started drinking, and then go deeper into the solution of the problem. Today, there are many ways to stop a person from drinking alcohol.
First of all, you need to learn how to behave properly. If the couple has started drinking more often and periodically drinking alcohol, you can try to change tactics. After all, he was sure, after returning home, he would face another scandal with tears and dishes. Or maybe he will be greeted by deadly silence and cold humiliation? In any case, you need to try to change: be more loving, surround him with care and attention, try to open to him other joys of life, besides drinking alcohol. Often this behavior confuses men and then it is easier to deal with them. At the very least, you will protect yourself and your children from undue aggression and save your nerves.
Second, you should try to protect the loyal person from his drinking friends. Indeed, often a man drinks vodka for the company, or because of loneliness. When party drinking, men have very low self -esteem. It seems that they are no longer needed by anyone and are not suitable for anything. Try to prove how wrong he is:
- to show that he is the head of the family, his hope and support, and without his participation everything can collapse;
- focusing his attention on children who find it psychologically difficult to live with an alcoholic father;
- to entice him with new interests and hobbies.
Mutual dependence
Maybe a woman can’t leave her drunken husband. There may be many reasons for this, but anyway he needs to figure out a way to survive.
There are things like mutual dependence, when a woman, willy -nilly, falls into social or physical dependence on her husband, trying to pull him out of the hole and return him to the family. This usually happens when a woman has a strong emotional bond with her partner. Only an experienced psychologist can help here.
There are clear signs that allow one to assess the presence of co-dependence:
- the woman is responsible for the health, mood and well -being of her husband;
- trying to please her husband by doing all the work for him;
- felt the need to help her husband with problems, in general to solve problems for her husband;
- justifying the couple's inappropriate behavior in front of others;
- feeling guilty about what happened to her husband;
- closing one's eyes to the problem, believing that everything not done is for good;
- falling into the same dependence on alcohol, having no strength to resist;
- considers himself a victim who pays for past sins;
- physically or emotionally attached to a partner.
What to do for a wife when the husband is involved in a party
There are many reasons why men do long parties. Here are the main ones:
- do not want to resist addiction;
- family conflicts;
- inability to cope with stress.
Everyone knows that alcohol causes feelings of euphoria, thus developing one of the most powerful addictions in a person, which he may have no desire to overcome. Mental and weak willpower can also be one of the reasons for heavy drinking. And if stressful situations at home or at work are of a long -term nature, then one can drink almost every day.
Alcohol denial is a problem for all alcohol drinkers. You can always hear a variety of excuses, such as: "Yes, I’m an alcoholic, and I like it! " Or "I don’t drink for no reason. " The drinker never admits that he is prone to addiction, it seems he can stop drinking at any timehe wants. But in fact, everything ends with another party, after which the reassurance of themselves and everyone around in the steadfastness of their character begins all over again.
What to do in such a situation is not difficult to understand - to treat firmly. But what a wife should not do is worth thinking about. Not worth it:
- looking for a reason to drink;
- hiding problems, dressing him up with needles, trying to show that he is not what he is;
- to justify the husband in front of a co -worker or boss for the fact that he is not working or is systematically late;
- drink with your partner so that he is less;
- giving drink at home, as long as he does not drink on the street;
- to wash and clean up after him as a result of his alcohol intoxication;
- buy alcohol;
- extortion with sexual intercourse;
- threatening with divorce;
- serving her husband secretly from her.
There are various ways that can help someone get out of their party situation:
- drug solutions;
- folk remedies;
- psychological assistance and rehabilitation programs;
- prayer or conspiracy against alcohol.
light party
With the early stages of alcohol dependence, you can try to survive with traditional methods of getting rid of the party. It is also good that the treatment can be done at home. The first thing to do is to let the patient sleep and then rest. Drinking plenty of fluids is recommended to restore the water-salt balance in the body. In this case, a variety of fruit drinks, herbal infusions and decoctions are suitable. You can also contrast baths, herbal baths, massages and other procedures aimed at repairing and restoring the body. It is not worth it to use the help of medical intervention without consulting a specialist, otherwise you can cause unexpected complications.
Drink heavily
When the dinner party lasts more than three days, chances are you need the help of a narcologist. Specialists can be called at home. He or she will properly assess the patient’s condition and prescribe the medications that need to be taken, carefully following the doctor’s instructions.
Often, to relieve withdrawal symptoms, doctors at home place IV drops, which help cleanse the blood of alcohol toxins and ethanol breakdown products. It also often contains restorative and sedative ingredients. The fact is that people who drink often become aggressive, panic or experience unexplained fears.
To calm her down and restore the nervous system after a party, the doctor may advise a class with a psychologist and prescribe psychotropic medication.
heavy party
Usually a heavy party lasts a week or more. If the practical situation is out of control, or the person drinking has a history of chronic illness, in this case, only hospitalization of the patient in a narcology or toxicology clinic can help. Hospital treatment will help prevent possible unpleasant consequences from a heavy party, which can manifest in the form of "delirium tremens" or alcohol psychosis. In such a situation, the patient is unable to control himself and can perform aggressive actions aimed at any family member, being in a state of insanity. Of course, it is advisable not to bring it to this, but if suddenly the withdrawal syndrome is very difficult, treatment with herbs or prayer is very necessary. You need to go to a narcology hospital as soon as possible, otherwise you can cause serious harm to your health, up to and including death.
conclusion
When a husband is an alcoholic - this is a terrible grief for people close to him. They worry and suffer, even more than the sick person themselves. Sometimes life becomes so unbearable that you have to make a choice: take care of your family or your own health. Rarely can a woman end a family life that was once happy, especially if there is a child who still loves the father. All that remains for him is to pull his loved ones out of this terrible trap. However, it is very difficult to do this alone, and, in fact, it is not necessary. In this case, one cannot do it without psychological help and support. Experienced expert advice will tell you how to behave properly and what to do to remove your husband from the party and return him to normal life. It remains only to keep a high level of patience and never give up, because despair can lead to hasty action, which you can then sincerely regret.